An Archive Favorite — “Your Vehicle’s New Year’s Resolutions”

Rock Star Marketing writes a lot of blog content for clients and we have tremendous fun doing it. The main goal is to capture the “voice” of the company, and when that “voice” allows for fun, frivolity, and a sense of humor, sometimes we create a real gem.

Here is a favorite from the archive that is appropriate for this year’s New Year’s resolutions. It was written for Robert’s Auto Repair in Monterey, California:

I, my human’s vehicle, do solemnly swear to make the following New Year’s Resolutions for 2012.

  1. I resolve to carry my humans and their precious cargo safely wherever they drive me.
  2. I resolve to stop as quickly as possible when faced with an emergency situation.
  3. I resolve to respond quickly when my gas pedal is pushed, my steering wheel is turned, my brakes are applied, and when my human is running late.
  4. I resolve to provide warmth when it’s cold, air conditioning when it’s hot, and shelter from the rain, wind, sleet, snow, and hail.
  5. I resolve to never hydroplane, slide, or lose control of myself on the road.
  6. I resolve to use gasoline efficiently, helping my human’s money stretch as far as possible.
  7. I resolve to avoid all accidents, scratches, pot holes, and any damage that would harm me or make my insurance go up.
  8. I resolve to always serve my humans reliably, safely, comfortably, and be ready to go anytime they need me.
  9. I resolve to do everything I can to prevent my humans from locking their keys inside me.

I, my human’s vehicle, will be fully equipped to meet all of my 2012 New Year’s Resolutions if my humans remember that I am part of the family and that I need regular maintenance if I am able to keep my promises.

I, my human’s vehicle, will be delighted to uphold my promises if they take me in for a check-up, repair, some detailing work, some tire work, and/or some body work at Robert’s Auto Repair, located at 234 Ramona Avenue in Monterey, California 93940.

I will even be happy to use my on-board phone system (if I have one) to call Robert’s Auto Repair at 831-373-1534 on their behalf to schedule an appointment for myself so my humans don’t have to worry about my health and safety…

…If only my human could authorize me to sign the credit card.

Dependably,
Your Beloved Vehicle

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